Parents and the internet

[Fenella]

I know that some parents let their children use the internet to read and post on forums. Is this a good idea? For example, should a mother let her 13-year old daughter read forums such as Bitchfest and the various blogs which are around? I don't think she should, some of the comments on them are not suitable for a girl of that age.

[Dongle]

Depends on the child's maturity I suppose. Forums of an adult nature (and by that i don't mean just porn - it could be adult issues, or language and tone) maybe should be restricted.

On the other hand, 13 is at an age when kids start becoming curious about sexual relationships, develop political opinions, etc etc. I don't know that it would actually be possible for parents to impose total control; besides the kids probably are more computer-savvy than the parents.

I think it's more a case of parental education and guidance, rather than trying to impose censorship which would probably be futile and may even be counterproductive (ie teenagers always do what they are told they shouldn't).

[Fenella]

Depends on the child's maturity I suppose. Forums of an adult nature (and by that i don't mean just porn - it could be adult issues, or language and tone) maybe should be restricted.

On the other hand, 13 is at an age when kids start becoming curious about sexual relationships, develop political opinions, etc etc. I don't know that it would actually be possible for parents to impose total control; besides the kids probably are more computer-savvy than the parents.

I think it's more a case of parental education and guidance, rather than trying to impose censorship which would probably be futile and may even be counterproductive (ie teenagers always do what they are told they shouldn't).

What if the mother knows very well that the child is reading and posting on such forums though? What if the mother posts there herself and admits that she knows her child reads them and posts, and says that she approves of it? A forum is no place to learn about sexual relationships IMO. Also, these forums usually contain quite a lot of bullying and arguing. Would any mother want her child to see such behaviour and be influenced by it?

[papa]

Depends on whether the child in question really is a child. How long has Goonst been 13 now, 3 years?

[Dongle]

What if the mother knows very well that the child is reading and posting on such forums though? What if the mother posts there herself and admits that she knows her child reads them and posts, and says that she approves of it? A forum is no place to learn about sexual relationships IMO. Also, these forums usually contain quite a lot of bullying and arguing. Would any mother want her child to see such behaviour and be influenced by it?
I agree - it is poor parenting if there are no boundaries set, or no parental guidance as to what is suitable. It's like parents who have no idea what their teenager is doing when out on a Friday or Saturday night and don't care to know.

However short of banning the child from using the computer on his/her own, I don't see what else can be done. Filters can be got around and they are not 100% perfect. I do think it's about parental education and guidance, so that the child exercises self-restraint on what they use the internet for.

It's a very difficult balancing job - I am just glad I am not a parent :p

[Fenella]

I agree - it is poor parenting if there are no boundaries set, or no parental guidance as to what is suitable. It's like parents who have no idea what their teenager is doing when out on a Friday or Saturday night and don't care to know.

However short of banning the child from using the computer on his/her own, I don't see what else can be done. Filters can be got around and they are not 100% perfect. I do think it's about parental education and guidance, so that the child exercises self-restraint on what they use the internet for.

It's a very difficult balancing job - I am just glad I am not a parent :p

But the mother agrees with the child looking at these forums and posting on them - she encourages her, she sits there watching her post. 13 is too young to decide for yourself what the internet should be used for, that's what parents are for - to decide what's best for their child.

[Dongle]

But the mother agrees with the child looking at these forums and posting on them - she encourages her, she sits there watching her post. 13 is too young to decide for yourself what the internet should be used for, that's what parents are for - to decide what's best for their child.

Well there are parents that have no sense of their parental responsibilities.

However in a free society, it is very difficult to do anything about poor parenting. I think that the state can only intervene if there is evidence of neglect, or if the child, as a result of lack of parental guidance, grows up into a monster and commits crime or antisocial behaviour, then courts can put the child into social care or issue parenting orders.

I am afraid this is one of those areas where you can't do anything. Also there is no absolute consensus on ideal or acceptable parental approaches. For example, some parents advocate introducing alcohol at meals to children at an early age, as a way to encourage in them a mature attitude to alcohol; others are horrified by the idea and believe that to be highly irresponsible.

[Jobless Oddball]

Depends on whether the child in question really is a child. How long has Goonst been 13 now, 3 years?

Is that why you are sooooo interested?????????????????????????????????????

[papa]

Is that why you are sooooo interested?????????????????????????????????????

In what?

[FreeBBC]

I know that some parents let their children use the internet to read and post on forums. Is this a good idea? For example, should a mother let her 13-year old daughter read forums such as Bitchfest and the various blogs which are around? I don't think she should, some of the comments on them are not suitable for a girl of that age.

hell no

[Fenella]

I know that some parents let their children use the internet to read and post on forums. Is this a good idea? For example, should a mother let her 13-year old daughter read forums such as Bitchfest and the various blogs which are around? I don't think she should, some of the comments on them are not suitable for a girl of that age.

Just for Edna, I shall include Toasted, Morningstarr, DTV, Digital Spy, Meerkats, and other adult forums that children shouldn't be posting on or reading. I would have included Showbiz Spy before the relaunch, but now it's all very nice here so I don't include it - yet! :D

[Peccant]

What's the agenda here, I'm confused? Surely no particular forum should have a finger pointed at them for allowing children to view it. How do they know the real ages of ANY of their members? I could be a 50 year old bloke - and some people think I am ;) - or I could be a 13 year old girl. How are you going to prove otherwise? It is the parent's responsibility to supervise their children's net activity.

[Fenella]

What's the agenda here, I'm confused? Surely no particular forum should have a finger pointed at them for allowing children to view it. How do they know the real ages of ANY of their members? I could be a 50 year old bloke - and some people think I am ;) - or I could be a 13 year old girl. How are you going to prove otherwise? It is the parent's responsibility to supervise their children's net activity.

I'm not criticising any forums here, I'm saying that parents should make sure they know what their children are reading. All the forums I've named are fine, it's just that in my opinion they are for adults, not children. I agree that it's not up to the forum owners to stop children reading them, it's up to the parents. Some of the forums I've mentioned have a policy on not allowing children to join and they stick to it, but they can't stop children reading the forum or joining and pretending to be older than they are - only the parents can do that.

[Peccant]

Yes I agree with you there.

[FreeBBC]

Just for Edna, I shall include Toasted, Morningstarr, DTV, Digital Spy, Meerkats, and other adult forums that children shouldn't be posting on or reading. I would have included Showbiz Spy before the relaunch, but now it's all very nice here so I don't include it - yet! :D

not m* please :(

[Fenella]

not m* please :(

I do include it Freebie because although there's no bitching or "forum war" stuff on there, there are conversations which I think are for adults only.

[Gemo52]

Toooooooo much conversation about other forums.

I think it is the responsibility of the parents to monitor their children’s forum use.

[Dongle]

Toooooooo much conversation about other forums.

I think it is the responsibility of the parents to monitor their children’s forum use.
<---- *exeunt stage left* http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/5269/embarassut9.gif

[Gemo52]

<---- *exeunt stage left* http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/5269/embarassut9.gif

Pursued by a bear??????????????:D

[Dongle]

Pursued by a bear??????????????:D
:eek: :eek:

teehee ;)

[draped_muppet]

There are plenty of adults whom i dont think should have access to forums blogs etc.

Including me, most of the time .

[Fenella]

There are plenty of adults whom i dont think should have access to forums blogs etc.

Including me, most of the time .

Haha! You're probably right muppet, adults can be upset and influenced by what they read on forums and blogs too. :D

Seriously though, most adults can put all this stuff in perspective. It might upset them, they might get angry at things which are said, and they might be shocked at some of the smut, but they can deal with it because they've been around and they have life experience.

A 13-year old girl doesn't have that. She's never been independent and stood on her own two feet. She's at a very impressionable age where things are changing fast for her. A girl of that age should not be talking about her personal problems to strangers on the internet, she should be talking to her parents about them in private. She should not be reading about "forum wars" and seeing people hurl abuse at each other because she does not have the life experience to see it for what it usually is - forum bollox and people playing silly buggers.

If an adult is bullied on a forum he or she can generally walk away from it. A girl of 13 will take it more seriously. It's all very well to chat on forums with friends of your own age, but that's not how it is on adult forums is it? There is plenty of bullying which goes on and a 13-year old girl is not given immunity to that just because of her age.